how suddenly susan got her groove back

this is my “destiny”

i went to a wedding in montego bay, jamaica. i know, i live an awful life. but before you go on hating me too much lemme tell you about my flight over there. ok, that wasn’t too bad either because i flew virgin atlantic which is one of the most kickass airlines evAR. they have personal seat-back screens which allows you to choose from a fairly current selection of movies and programs. i watched, eastern promises, knocked up, the bourne ultimatum, and a few episodes of 30 rock. (it was a ten-hour flight from london heathrow to my connection in miami.) virgin atlantic also has pretty good grub for an airline including yummy snacks like pretzels flavored with “worcester sauce” (brit english for “worcestershire sauce”) and a big, chewy chocolate cookie.

yummy snack alert: worcester sauce flavour pretzels (not available in stores!)

so yeah, the bad part of my trip was that american airlines canceled my next leg from miami and instead put me on an air jamaica flight to montego bay. however, they didn’t have enough time to put my luggage on that flight. not the end of the world since i packed my trial-sized toiletries in my carry on bag, just in case something like this should happen. what i didn’t pack was my swimsuit. the size zero bride lent me what were undoubtedly her largest, stretchiest clothes which left me with a terrible farmer’s tan as i sat poolside. the airline ended up delivering my luggage to me the next day– after i had already bought another swimsuit and a hideous skirt that i will probably never wear again.

now back to the part where you can start hating me again…i stayed in a villa of four rooms called “destiny.” it’s part of a larger villa complex that overlooks a gully of tropical foliage and the turquoise blue of the caribbean. the infinity pool was six steps from my room. we had a private chef who cooked us three meals a day. we even had a driver and a butler! yes, i know, you are absolutely loathing me right now.

the infinity pool at destiny

lunch by the private chef

the bride and groom are wasps, as were 99.9% of the guests. i was one of two non-white guests, along with a south asian man, and later on i found a couple of jews and a mexican. the wonderful thing about wasps is that they sure know how to throw parties and they are hilarious when they get sloshed. in the six days leading up to the wedding, we had a party each night in a different villa with free-flowing wine, rum and beer and a copious supply of the island’s natural herb. alas wasps don’t eat with their drink so i ended up foraging for food in the villa fridge at midnight hoping to find some leftover pasta or jerk chicken.

the wedding was lovely. the size zero bride was stunning in her silk chiffon vera wang gown and botticelli-esque blond curls. it’s no wonder the groom got all choked up at the altar when he saw her walk down the aisle. we all had a blast at the reception. like i said, they sure know how to throw a party.

see all the pho-tos on my flickr site